I noticed an advertisement on the back of a bag of chips in the grocery store today and did a double take. At the top of the ad was a big statement saying “You could win an awesome” followed by a graphic of what I presume you’re supposed to want to win.
My first thought was “Holy cow!” Because surely, I thought, there was no way a major snack food company would be giving away something like that!
A closer look revealed that the tip of the object was actually shaped like a football. Which does, I suppose, make a bit more sense. It’s way less cool than giving away an awesome, metal dildo, however.
But that blatantly, unmistakably phallic prize just proves what I’ve always believed about football. It’s most especially aimed at that group of men who are too homophobic to admit their latent homosexual tendencies and try to convince themselves that they’d never have those kinds of thoughts about other men by getting into something “macho” and violent like football, or wrestling, or goodness-only-knows-what.
Because ultimately, what is football really showcasing? Violence, yes, but also men in tight pants bending over.
Seriously, how many times have I been in a store or a restaurant or whatever that was running football on TV, and whenever I happened to glance up at the screen, all it was showing was male buttocks, barely hidden by some thin cloth.
It wouldn’t bother me if it was just honest about it.
There was a time when some civilizations got it. Sexuality shouldn’t be confined. (Says someone who’s never even kissed anyone…) In the ancient Mediterranean, they didn’t even have the concepts of “heterosexual” and “homosexual.” Sex was sex, regardless of the gender of the other person.
Now, obviously, there were a lot of other problems with their sexual attitudes. Bisexuality being the norm is terrific, but in modern society, you shouldn’t really have sexual relations between a person under eighteen and a person over eighteen. And it’s best if I don’t even get started on their bad attitude towards women and female sexuality. (Though, let’s face it, that’s still a problem today, albeit not as much of one, and not as universally.)