I lost it this morning.
I was getting ready to e-mail my interviewee to ask to set up an appointment for the interview.
In my inbox, I found an e-mail from the student who had been delegated to be in charge of getting the final question list ready. The e-mail was, essentially, a poll, which he was going to have to tally to determine the final question list. “Better him than me” should have been my thought.
Instead I was washed over first with tiredness, then disgust, and then fear, even downright terror.
I thought to myself “Okay, I’ll e-mail the interviewee first and then I’ll deal with this.”
But I couldn’t. I stared at the sheet of paper with her contact information, and I could feel myself starting a panic attack.
I dealt with the question list, sent it back, and then spent about an hour or so composing an e-mail to my professor.
Because I can’t simply drop the course and have it vanish into the ether. The time for that is past. Now it’ll be on my transcript, no matter what. But it’s up to the professor as to whether it’ll be an “EX” or an “F”. And I can’t just drop the course and hope it’ll be an “EX”. So I had to e-mail him and ask which it would be.
Long before I was ready to send the e-mail, I was crying so hard that I had to repeatedly take off my glasses and clean them.
I’m scared to check my e-mail and find out what he said.
I know I have to, and soon, because if he says he’d give me an “F” for dropping the course, then I have to contact the interviewee as quickly as possible, and somehow force myself to go through with the interview. A bad interview with a stellar research paper to follow it up will have to net me a better grade than an “F”. Not, perhaps, by very much, but…
So, yeah, it’s been a really lousy day.
Ironic, since I had started out the day thinking up a great scene for a follow-up book to my quasi-Young Adult novels. But because of the e-mail thing, I never ended up writing it down. Maybe I’ll be able to get to that after my bath.
On a completely unrelated–and less depressing–note, I went out to dinner and hit some used game/toy stores with my brother, who also had a bad day, though nowhere near as bad as mine. On the way back, we stopped at the grocery store, because I needed to pick up a couple of minor things. He commented that, since it was Pi Day, we should grab a slice of pie at the grocery store while we were there. (Our grocery store sells these freshly made pies from what used to be a local restaurant/pie shop that now just makes pies to sell in grocery stores. They’re really good, though the variety is nothing like what there was at the restaurant.) He also said that he felt sorry for people in Europe, because it’s not Pi Day for them, ’cause there it’s 14/3/15 instead of 3/14/15. Anyway, we got to the case where the pies are kept, and I’ve never seen it so low before. They had almost no individual slices left (only a couple of slices of apple, cherry and coconut cream (fortunately, I like coconut cream, though I would have preferred pecan)) and the 4″ pies were in small supply, too. Even the full size pies were in considerably reduced numbers. Apparently, everyone else had the same idea he did. Maybe it was on the news or something.