My life is a work of body horror fiction.

Published November 21, 2019 by Iphis of Scyros

Except it’s not fiction. (As far as I know.)

I’ve been having trouble sitting comfortably in my recliner for some time now. Because my weight is collapsing the seat. But lately it wasn’t the messed up posture that caused which was the problem. It was that the my legs didn’t like the pressure of the hard edge they had to pass over beyond the collapsed part.

But as far as I could tell, it was still just the chair.

Then I went to see a movie today.

Long before it was over, that same part of my legs was objecting to the movie seats the same way they do to the recliner.

It’s not the chair. It’s me.

The condition in my arms is spreading.

And if I thought it was hard to deal with arms that respond to sunlight and body heat like fire, how am I going to deal with legs that won’t let me sit, combined with a lower back that won’t let me stand?

And every doctor I’ve ever seen about this problem has, sooner or later, written me off as crazy.

I’m starting to wonder if that negative diagnosis for MS was wrong. That’s a terrifying thought, considering the type I would have gets so overwhelming that most people who have it kill themselves within ten years. But if this doesn’t get better, if something can’t be done…I mean, I don’t think I really could, but I don’t really know how to go on, either. I’d want to live in a small swimming pool, except I couldn’t use all my electronics.

I don’t…

I can’t stand this.

I can’t write (388 words today), I can’t relax, I just can’t do anything.

Except to hope it will tone itself down overnight, and make an appointment with my acupuncturist and hope she can do something to help.

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