Who am I?
Well, you can call me the Mad Grad Student, if you like. (Yeah, I got that from a Futurama episode. But I am a grad student!) I’m working on a Master’s in History, and I don’t have my thesis nailed down yet, but it’s a cultural/intellectual history, looking at the way the perceptions of Greek myths changed over time, and particularly the impact that had on gender portrayals of the character of Achilles in the Trojan War myth, as an indicator of gender roles of the various eras. There’s a lot of material there, but trying to work it into a thesis–rather than a literature review–is not going to be easy. (When it comes time to start working on it as a thesis, I suspect my thesis adviser is going to hate me.)
Non-academically, I’m as pathetic as they come. (Okay, actually, I’m pretty pathetic academically, too; I can’t even speak German or Latin or Greek anymore!) I’m 40 years old, have never been on a date, weigh roughly 300 pounds (though I am on medication now that should help me lose weight, and I’m trying to get to the Y to go swimming again), and I’m honestly surprised that my face has never shattered any mirrors or camera lenses. (But I do feel sure that if I posted pictures of my face online like most people, I would have lawsuits pouring in, claiming visual assault and causing people to choke in horror.) When I started this blog, I had two cats, but I lost both of them in the past year, and have retreated into my hobbies even more to distract myself from the emptiness of the house–not good for me psychologically or financially, I’m sure–but I’m hoping that when the weather gets cool again and I can clean the house, then maybe I can get a fresh start and try to reclaim the house and pretend I have a normal life. (Hmm, that may not have made sense.)
Perpetually unemployed, I have been volunteering at a local museum for several years, and I’m hoping that I can finally turn that into a paying job, but…I’m not really holding my breath on that score. Unfortunately, I came by my volunteer position by way of a relation who was at the time the president of the museum board–he is no longer on the board, though still strongly associated with the museum–and said relation is quite wealthy, so although I have meager funds, I suspect everyone at the museum thinks I’m as loaded as he is, and so they’re not really going to be in any rush to give me money. (Well, honestly, I suppose it’s not accurate to call my funds “meager.” For someone with no employment history, I have an amazing amount of money. I can live on it for a number of years. But if I wanted to do something exciting or adventurous, like travelling, or wanted to do something big like moving house, I would run out of money instantly. In fact, I don’t have enough money to buy a new house, period; they cost too much in this area. Still, for daily living expenses, I’m well covered…it’s just that I have trouble keeping to just the “daily expenses” and forgoing my luxuries like games and dolls and DVDs and books and books and manga and action figures and…)
I mentioned that I’ve “never been on a date,” but…I don’t even know who to say I’ve never been on a date with. My sexuality is best described as “undefined.” Given my utter lack of romantic history, I would feel like a liar if I called myself either heterosexual or bisexual, or even asexual or nonsexual, since my lack of a love life has not been my choice. (Though at this point I have officially given up on trying, so now I suppose non- or asexual is not entirely inaccurate.) I tend, lately, to be drawn to LGBT issues. I think that’s partially an offshoot of my thesis topic, and the way my writer’s mind works. Oh, you see, I’m also a failed writer. I’ve been trying to write fiction since I was in grade school, but at some point I derailed into fanfic. I mean, I was always derivative, even in high school, but somewhere along the way it became easier to write fanfic than it was to make up new characters and worlds, and for years and years that was all I did. And eventually I got into writing a lot of “AU” stuff, Alternate Universe, where I would put the old familiar characters in unfamiliar settings, often alternate paths through their familiar stories. (For those unfamiliar with the concept, an AU fanfic might be a Star Wars fanfic where Luke was the twin taken to Alderaan and Leia was taken to Tatooine, and showing how their lives would have gone differently. That kind of thing. Though I was long done with my Star Wars fanfic phase by the time I got into AU…) Anyway, the thing is, my writer’s mind has been really playing around lately with some…I don’t even know the fast way to describe these characters…re-incarnations of Achilles and Patroclos that I came up with as backstory for a sci-fi novel, yet who for some reason grabbed me more than the later re-incarnations who were supposed to be the actual characters in the novel. But these ones who so grabbed me were supposed to die within three days of realizing their love for each other, and my AU impulses just couldn’t have that, and my freakish brain keeps making up all these new versions of ways to get them out of that mess and get them to be in love sooner or whatever. Completely playing havoc with any other attempt to write anything else. Driving me nuts, I gotta say. But that’s what my brain is like. It latches onto a pairing in something I’m writing, and just keeps hammering at me with it, whether I want it to or not. Though this is the first time the pairing has been same-sex; normally it’s been hetero, so at least I can fantasize a little more…um…intimately. You know, I’m stopping this line of thought right now before it gets any creepier.
Anyway, I do have other interests beyond history and Greek myths, but most of them are unlikely to find much expression on this blog. My doll/toy collecting habits are showcased on my other blog, the Crazy Doll Lady, and I currently have no outlet for my interest in anime, manga, video games and Doctor Who. (Apart from the toys connected to same, that is.)
(If you want to see the old “About” page, it’s here. It seems my current theme doesn’t actually support sub-pages…)