Spam, Spam, and More Spam

Because I feel like it, I’ve decided to keep a log of the spam messages I get on my blogs.

No, there’s no reason for it.  I just feel like it.

Well, no reason other than that I’ve been noticing that they tend to go to the same posts over and over again.  (And these are just the ones that go to the spam queue.  Who knows where or what the others are…)

All URLs in the spam have been deleted, naturally.  [URL] will replace them.

Posted on History is Stranger than Fiction:

Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at. Seo Plugin [URL]

[Note on the above:  though this is the first spam for that post, I’ve gotten that exact spam message before.  It also just showed up on The Truth about Zeus and Hades.  And on Words Crush Wednesday; S is for Sarpedon. And on Randomness.  Man, this spambot is really desperate to get my attention…and its desperation continues to ludicrous lengths in that this message — all about the use of certain words within a larger body of text — was just left on Silent Sundays – Itty Bitty Rainbow Brite on my other blog…a post with no words whatsoever.  I’ve gotten this same message 3 times in 2 days.  WTF?  Nope, make that 4 times in 3 days…accompanied by two more spams in the same 24 hours as the third one.  Um, are the spambots getting cranked up suddenly for some reason?  Or am I just getting unlucky now?  Good grief.  Got this one twice on 2/12/16.  What is going on around here?]

Posted on Words Crush Wednesday – Metamorphosed:

Hi my name is Sandra and I just wanted to drop you a quick note here instead of calling you. I came to your Words Crush Wednesday Metamorphosed | The Mad Grad Student page and noticed you could have a lot more visitors. I have found that the key to running a popular website is making sure the visitors you are getting are interested in your niche. There is a company that you can get targeted visitors from and they let you try the service for free for 7 days. I managed to get over 300 targeted visitors to day to my website. Check it out here: [URL]

[This one, too, I’ve gotten before, though on a different post.  Note the bizarrity of the introduction as a stranger, followed in the very same sentence by the implication that the person could call me on the telephone, as if an old friend.  Just got it again on Roman Names.]

Posted on Homophone Trouble:

S. Thank you for reading my blog. The vegans have removed turkey, actually any form of the franchise is the most important intangible of them all, playing in the clutch. He can of the air then secures it well.detailed callDom Capers, an old Pittsburgh Steelers Assistant mentor, would

[This spambot put “wholesale nfl jerseys” as its user name.  Yeah, ’cause that totally sounds like a person.]

Posted on Wordless Wednesday – Jumbo Marble (on my other blog):

We will use our reasonable endeavours to bring the Force Majeure Event to a close or to find a solution by which our obligations under the Contract may be performed despite the Force Majeure Event.
Bogner Winter GTX Warm Halten [URL] [URL]

[Those words before the two URLs were what the spambot put in as its name.  The URL seemed to go to a shopping site.]

Posted on Wordless Wednesday – Strawberry Shortcake, Vintage & Reproduction (on my other blog):

02 Naar hammeren heves (5:20) 3487.
Bogner Fausto-D 2015 3123 [URL] [URL]

[According to Google Translate, the text in the first line is Dutch, and means “To hammer HEVES”.  Whatever that means.]

[Again, that last line was put in as the spambot’s name.  It seems to be the same shopping site as the previous one.]

Also posted on Wordless Wednesday – Jumbo Marble (on my other blog):

Parajumpers Antibacterial Long Bear [URL] [URL]

[According to Google Translate, the line of Japanese says “There is a possibility that someone phone after their internal stirring curiosity fashion.”]

[Again, the last line was put in as the spambot’s name.  It goes to a shopping site, too, but it seemed to be a different one.  However, I think this confirms that there’s a spambot making the rounds of the “Wordless Wednesday” tag!  Given that this is a spambot fixed on that one tag, I think I won’t report any more of the “Wordless Wednesday” spams unless they’re funny.]

And now prepare yourself for the ultimate spam message, posted on Black Friday Haul (Junky Spot+) (on my other blog):

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more
than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
{It’s|It is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my
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as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more}
useful than ever before.|
I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.
{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your
{rss|rss feed} as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service.

Do {you have|you’ve} any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could}
subscribe. Thanks.|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time
to make some plans for the future and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.
{I have|I’ve} read this post and if I could
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{Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write next articles referring to this article.
I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things about it!|
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{interesting|fascinating|attention-grabbing} article like yours.

{It’s|It is} {lovely|pretty|beautiful} {worth|value|price} {enough|sufficient} for me.
{In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web
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{sister|younger sister} is analyzing {such|these|these kinds of} things,
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{Saved as a favorite|bookmarked!!}, {I really
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site|site}. I stumbledupon it 😉 {I will|I am going to|I’m going to|I
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A lot of times it’s {very hard|very difficult|challenging|tough|difficult|hard} to get
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{In addition|Additionally|Also}, the blog loads {very|extremely|super} {fast|quick} for me on {Safari|Internet explorer|Chrome|Opera|Firefox}.
{Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent} Blog!|
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You have touched some {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {points|factors|things} here.
Any way keep up wrinting.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up
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{Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and {wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb} {style and design|design and style|design}.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys
{are|are usually|tend to be} up too. {This sort of|This
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would you mind letting me know which {webhost|hosting
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Can you {suggest|recommend} a good {internet hosting|web hosting|hosting} provider at
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thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!|
{I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when people|when individuals|when folks|whenever people} {come together|get together}
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{keep it up|continue the good work|stick with it}!|
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It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to {far|more} added agreeable from you!
{By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to
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The {style and design|design and style|layout|design} look great though!
Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon. {Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that’s|which is} {close to|near to} my heart…

{Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}!
{Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
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{topic|matter} on {net|web} as compared to {books|textbooks},
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I’ve got some {creative ideas|recommendations|suggestions|ideas} for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
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{Hola|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Greetings}! I’ve been {following|reading} your
{site|web site|website|weblog|blog} for {a
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Just wanted to {tell you|mention|say} keep up the {fantastic|excellent|great|good} {job|work}!|
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{I think|I feel|I believe} {that you|that you simply|that you just} {could|can} do with {some|a few} {%|p.c.|percent} to {force|pressure|drive|power} the message
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{A great|An excellent|A fantastic} read. {I’ll|I will} {definitely|certainly} be back.|
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{but|except|however} the audio {quality|feature} for audio songs {current|present|existing} at this {website|web site|site|web page}
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hello}, i read your blog {occasionally|from time to time} and i own a
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can {advise|suggest|recommend}? I get so much lately it’s driving me {mad|insane|crazy} so any {assistance|help|support} is very much appreciated.|
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{It is the|It’s the} little changes {that make|which
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most important|the most significant} changes. {Thanks a lot|Thanks|Many thanks}
for sharing!|
{I really|I truly|I seriously|I absolutely} love {your blog|your site|your website}..
{Very nice|Excellent|Pleasant|Great} colors
& theme. Did you {create|develop|make|build} {this website|this site|this web site|this
amazing site} yourself? Please reply back as I’m {looking to|trying to|planning to|wanting
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own personal} {blog|website|site} and {would like to|want to|would love
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{Hi there|Hello there|Howdy}! This {post|article|blog post} {couldn’t|could not} be written {any better|much better}!
{Reading through|Looking at|Going through|Looking through} this {post|article}
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{Pretty sure|Fairly certain} {he will|he’ll|he’s going to} {have a good|have a very good|have a great} read.
{Thank you for|Thanks for|Many thanks for|I appreciate you for} sharing!|
{Wow|Whoa|Incredible|Amazing}! This blog looks {exactly|just} like my old one!
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{new stuff|blogs|blog} {regularly|like every week|daily|on a regular basis}.
Your {story-telling|writing|humoristic} style is
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{Disgrace|Shame} on {the {seek|search} engines|Google}
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{upper|higher}! Come on over and {talk over
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{Thank you|Thanks} =)|
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{Other than that|Apart from that|Besides that|Aside
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Heya {i’m|i am} for {the primary|the first} time here.
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{helped|aided} me.|
{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day|Hey there}!
{I just|I simply} {would like to|want to|wish to} {give you a|offer you a} {huge|big} thumbs up {for the|for
your} {great|excellent} {info|information} {you have|you’ve got|you have
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a {similar|comparable|related} {topic|matter|subject}, your {site|web site|website} {got here|came} up, it {looks|appears|seems|seems to be|appears to be like} {good|great}.
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{Hello|Hi} there, {simply|just} {turned into|became|was|become|changed into} {aware of|alert to} your {blog|weblog}
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{I am|I’m} {extremely|really} {inspired|impressed} {with your|together with your|along with your} writing {talents|skills|abilities} {and also|as {smartly|well|neatly} as} with the {layout|format|structure} {for your|on your|in your|to your} {blog|weblog}.
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{Either way|Anyway} {stay|keep} up the {nice|excellent} {quality|high quality} writing,
{it’s|it is} {rare|uncommon} {to peer|to see|to look} a
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[Apparently, the spambot glitched out and posted its entire text string, instead of just picking one section and one set of variables from within the string.  I think some spambot has gotten hooked on my doll blog.  They’ve been coming in much more rapidly lately.  (Maybe that’s just because the doll blog is now more popular than the main blog?)  Um, for those who are wondering, the Junky Spot is the name of an online doll shop, which primarily sells ball-jointed dolls.]

Yet another post on Wordless Wednesday – Jumbo Marble:

Gomorrha 07 Love,Peace And Excrements (3:39) 4675.
Bogner Womens Pocket [URL] [URL]

[Wow, I would love to know what — if anything — the person who programmed that spambot thought they were trying to say there.  Actually, what I’d like to know is why these are getting sent to the spam queue and not simply deleted outright.  Maybe I accidentally changed my Askimet settings?]

Another post on Wordless Wednesday – Strawberry Shortcake Vintage and Reproduction:

With the changing trends of fashion and style, the demands and the needs of people in terms of clothing has gone high. And, it quite understood that with the demand even the price has gone up. As a result, every brand has increased its price tags, making it bit difficult for people to buy their preferred outfits. Therefore, in order to dig themselves out of this problem, they can opt for wholesale clothing.got2av8 comments on Attention
Bogner GTX 2015 Wasserdicht Innenfutter aus 100% Polyester [URL] [URL]

[The annoying thing here is that I literally deleted the “wordless wednesday” tag to get rid of the spambots that were targeting it, and yet bam! here’s another one.  (Which is not so much fun as “Bam!  Windmill!”)  How the heck do I get rid of these freakin’ spambots?  They have a different IP every time, so I can’t just block the IP.  I need to play around with the Askimet settings and see if there’s something I can do about it.  I’m really getting sick of these things showing up in my spam queue; they’re just random nonsense, and therefore not usually funny.]

Posted on Homophone Trouble:

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Posted on Words Crush Wednesday – The Homeric Version (15):

I was browsing your site and noticed you could use some help with your social media marketing. I understand its hard to keep on top of social media and that leads to frustration but also leaves a lot of money on the table when you give up on it too soon!
i would like to offer you a 10 day FREE trial of our social marketing services.
We focus on Facebook as a base – but we also work with all of the 5 big platforms out there like Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest. We learn about your business and post content for you to your page that gets you new customers
If you would like to give us a try, you have nothing to lose and customer to gain!
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See you soon!

[Yeah, because my blog is so clearly a “business” with “customers” from whom I’m trying to make money.  Ugh.  It’s like “tell your stupid spambot to stick to commercial sites, not private blogs!”]

[Bizarrely, the same day that the previous two spam comments were posted on my main blog, another spam comment was posted to Wordless Wednesday – Jumbo Marble on my other blog.  I call this bizarre because I had closed comments on that post!  I still have no idea how the spambot was able to leave a comment on a post with closed comments.  I can’t even leave comments there!  (Unless I turn comments back on, anyway.)]

Posted on Silent Sundays – Itty Bitty Rainbow Brite:

Although forces were being very powerful, we were looking at
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[There’s a lot weird here, starting with the fact that there’s no URL anywhere in this comment, including that the URL the spambot put in as its Web page was just Google…no, wait, Google is a .com, not a .net, isn’t it?  Yikes, sneaky.  It’s also alarming, in that I started doing Silent Sundays because of the spambots hitting Wordless Wednesdays.  If the Silent Sundays tag is also being targeted, then…ugh, dunno.]

Posted on the closed-comments Wordless Wednesday – Jumbo Marble:

Bogner mit Kapuze Regelmäßige Faltbare GTX

While some people may be comfortable in their writing prowess, most of us are not. Outsourcing your writing needs can be a great boon in this area assuming you choose to partner with a team who provides ONLY top of the line, unique content, that is. Th…

[No URL in this one, despite being the same spambot that before was closing every “comment” with the URL to a shopping site.  And this is the second comment posted to that post in two days, despite that I closed comments on it.  How in the bloody blue blazes is it doing that?!  And more importantly, how do I stop it?  Also, notice the absurdity that the content is about writing, yet it was left on an image-only post.  And I didn’t cut it off at the end there, btw; it really stopped with “Th…” like that.]

Posted on Homophone Trouble:

All that one needs to conduct is add an application form and submit it online Three years afterwards, I have a wonderful
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[No URL, and the URL inputted by the spambot as its website is nonfunctional, according to the preview window in the comments section of the dashboard.  That being the case, I’m not sure what this spambot was programmed to achieve.  Also, I’m noticing a lot more spam in the last few days than usual.  Ugh.]

Posted on miWorld Sweet Factory (on my other blog):

Tuition costs in several colleges have been improved and a college student is to
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news, online, smart phones, brochures, papers, magazines and various other forms of letters from
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[Another one with no URL and a non-functional URL inputted by the spambot.  What’s up with these?  Also, why is my dolly blog being bombarded so heavily by spam?  It’s gotten to the point where it’s much worse than my main blog.  (Maybe that’s just because it’s  more popular?)]

Posted on Words Crush Wednesday – Abigail Adams:

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[Um, what makes the spambots think my blog is finance-related?  I mostly talk about mythology…]

Posted on Roman Names:

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[Again, seriously, you’d think they would have some kind of algorithm to make sure the spambots dumping these messages were posting on sites that actually offered services and products.  Seriously, it’s a flippant little post about ancient Roman nomenclature.  No one cares about it, and I certainly don’t stand to make any money from it, not even if ten thousand people viewed it in a single day.  (Though if that many people viewed it, I would definitely be freaked out.)  This one just made a repeat appearance on Snakes, Serpents and Dragons (in Greek Myth).  Really, wtf?  Most places that are selling things don’t have comment spaces, so what was the spambot’s programmer thinking?  (Scratch that.  The actual question is “was the spambot’s programmer thinking?”)  It just came back again on Missing Letter Monday – No “I”, too.  At this point, I’ve stopped even noticing what posts this comes up on; it tends to show up at least every other week.]

Posted on Words Crush Wednesday – Abigail Smith (Adams):

I’ve been browsing online more than 2 hours
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[This one is just interesting to me because it was generated by the same program as that massive text dump earlier.  Notice the absurdity of this fake comment on a super-short post that’s primarily a quote from a letter written in 1764.  I put a little text before and after, but not enough to call it an “article” by any stretch of the imagination.  What I don’t get here, as in many of these cases, is what the people programming the spambots are after.  There’s no URL here, and URL the bot put in as its website was a Tumblr page, so…I dunno.  Can Tumblr be used to make money somehow?]

Also posted on Words Crush Wednesday – Abigail Smith (Adams):

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[This, too, is from that giant text dump earlier.  (And this came within 48 hours of the other one, mind you.)  Again, it links to a Tumblr page as the spambot’s website.  This is really weird.  Also, seeing these things after the “choices” are made about which text to use…they’re even more awkward than they are in the text dump!]

Posted on miWorld Sweet Factory (on my other blog):

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[I feel like…they wanted to communicate something…but they failed, because they had no grasp of language.  Hey, maybe these spambots were programmed by aliens!  (LOL)]

Posted on Words Crush Wednesday – A disturbing precedent:

Your site can go viral, you need some initial traffic only.
How to get initial traffic??? Search in google for: nhuum’s tips

[The sad part here is that they missed right off the bat.  I wouldn’t want to go viral, regardless of whether or not it’s possible.  Some attention is good.  Too much is not.  That’s my feeling on the subject.  (Others, of course, are free to feel differently.)]

Posted on Silent Sundays – Itty Bitty Rainbow Brite (on my other blog):

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[Oh, man, don’t tell me Silent Sundays is also hefty bot-bait!  I really liked having a simple, quick weekly feature…]

Posted on Hikaru Shidou (on my other blog):

There is certainly a great deal to know about this subject.
I really like all the points you made.

[I think this is from the massive text dump earlier; if it isn’t, it’s certainly very similar to a lot of the possible “comments” in that text dump.  The spambot put a site about professional wrestling as its site — and as its name.  But what strikes me here is the absurdity of the comment in relation to the post.  The post is one I did for April A-to-Z, about a new doll in my collection…a doll I haven’t opened yet, and probably will never open.  (Anime tie-in dolls are not always well made.  Let me rephrase that:  cheap tie-in dolls intended for the little girls who watch the TV show at the time (rather than expensive tie-in dolls 10-20 years later intended for the adults those girls have since become) are usually cheap, if not outright crap.  (Ever seen what a Sailor Moon doll at the time looked like?  There’s a charm to them, but they are definitely on the crappy side.))  So my point is, the post was very short, and consisted mostly of pictures.  It exhibited no knowledge of any subject, and I made no points of any kind.  It was just a short post to fill the “H” requirement for April A-to-Z, y’know?]

Posted on Homophone Trouble:

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[Yeah, no dialog, and a lot more than one paragraph.  It’s, like, halfway to becoming a novella.  BTW, this listing may make it look like all the spam is now coming in on my dolly blog instead of this one — and it is certainly true that the percentage has shifted in the dolly blog’s favor — but that’s mostly because this blog keeps getting the same spam over and over and over again, and I’ve lost interest in adding “also on xyz post” to the listing of the spam.  Even though that was actually kind of the point when I started this, because it seemed like the same post was always the one getting the spam.]

Posted on P is for Pyerun:

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[Another one calling a post a “paragraph”.  Is that the typical length of a blog post?  Because if it is, I don’t read any “typical” blogs…  Also, this one’s web page brought up a 403 forbidden access error when WordPress brought up a preview window.  Good planning, spambot.]

Posted on Missing Letter Mondays – No “I”:

Yeah, the mo Re 3CX soft phones will try this, together with around the mobile apps

[The post in question is an awkward attempt at a poem describing a symposium (in its original meaning of an all-male drinking party) held by some of the Achaian princes before they set sail for Troy.  Made all the more awkward by the fact that I couldn’t use the letter “i”, which not only prevented me from using “drink” and “wine” and “said,” but also forbade the names Achilles, Aias and Diomedes, all of whom were, of course, taking part in the symposium.  So, in short, zilch to do with cell phones!  And the spambot put in as its web address a site talking about recording Skype calls.  Yikes.]

Posted on Polydectes and Danae:

In Kenya you will find several smart-phone bands previously in the market. being the most popular brand followed by Techno.other brandnames comprise Huawei,
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Smartphones in Nigeria can be bought in a more affordable price with
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It’s that period of the entire year when we really get to look back and review the operation of the
technology world in Nigeria. Beginning today we shall be concentrating on the leading performers in the areas of smart cell phones, technology
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To start us off we’re in the top smart phones that caught the imagination of
Kenyans. The ranking is dependant on the keyphrases that
were directed to our site, talks with different experts and information from different
Cellphone shops around (Nairobi).

[I don’t get this one, either.  A spam comment about cell phone popularity in Kenya on a post that’s a re-telling of an ancient Greek myth?  Obviously spam bots do not look for any keywords related to what they’re pushing (in this case, the URL it put in was about “email blocking settlement”…whatever that means.]

Posted on Words Crush Wednesday – A Disturbing Precedent:

I savor, result in I discovered just what I used to be having a look for. You have ended my four day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

[For one thing, I’m not sure why, but spam on the main blog has jumped upwards.  There were three spam comments in my spam folder when I found this one, and the previous time I logged on, there were two.  That’s five in three or four days.  (Yeah, I haven’t been on as regularly as I should.)  In any case, it is virtually inconceivable that this post could answer any need someone would bother searching for.  And — funny thing! — the “commenter”‘s name just happened to include the name of a Ralph Lauren product…which just happens to be on sale at the URL entered as the “commenter”‘s web site…]

Posted on (Sibilant) Silent Sundays – Sidney’s Socks:

Thanks for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there. [fake name][url]

[The spambot put the name of a product (I think) as its name, and as its website put in a store URL.  Presumably, the point of this kind of spambot comment is to get naive people to think it’s a real comment, and click on the link to politely give a return visit, only to find a store and maybe buy something.  Which would never work, but whatever.  I mainly wanted to keep this one because it’s so insanely stupid in context, since the post in question has no text whatsoever, and therefore contains no “critique” of any kind.  It’s just a photo of my Obitsu boy Sidney the Smirking Scot (yes, that whole thing is his name) in his pathetic homemade kilt, but wearing the new (sort of) socks I found for him, so his feet weren’t going directly into his shoes.]

Also posted on (Sibilant) Silent Sundays – Sidney’s Socks:

I truly appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thank you again

[Again, a product name as the spambot’s name, and a link to a store.  But how ludicrous these are when put on a post without any text!]

Posted on Julius Caesar and the Pirates:

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MSB Outreach

[The funniest part about this one — aside from the usual mistake of thinking a blog is a business — is that I don’t have any of the “social profiles” mentioned.   And you know what this spambot put as its name? “Complimentary tool to take control of your social media.”  Seriously.  Because yeah, that so totally sounds like a person’s name.]

Also posted on Julius Caesar and the Pirates:

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My name is Paul, the Outreach Director of Five Star Fast Lane, and for the price of, well, nothing –I would like to provide you with a full detailed report on your current business standings. As a bonus, our report scanner will report back with any inaccuracies about your business that are out there potentially causing you loss of revenue and customers.
There is no obligation or a catch, the report is yours to use as you see fit. Feel free to make use of it at [URL]
Five Star Fast Lane
PS – If you want to discuss the results we are available via live chat daily on the site.

[Seriously, what part of my blog looks like a business?  I mean, I know it’s just a spambot, and can’t tell the difference, but surely someone in coding the dang thing would have wanted to give it some kind of algorithm to detect things like that.]

Also posted on Julius Caesar and the Pirates:

Hey There,
thanks for taking the time to read my email
i just want to share with you this quick video showing you how i am ranking video after video on the first page of google!
Look i know you get message after message from people telling you how they can get you first page rankings, well in this video i show you that i WALK THE WALk!
All i ask is you give me 2 mins of your time so i can show you how i rank Videos on the front page of Google and how i can do the same for you bringing in clients\sales in days!
[URL] (this will take you to my private blog)
enjoy the video and get ready to have your socks blown off!
enjoy! Dean.

[Wow, where to start?  Okay, how about with the fact that the spambot put “Hey i just saw your video on Google” as its name.  Because apparently my blog is now a video.  On Google.  Yeaaaaaahh.  ‘Course it is.  Also, notice how the comment calls itself an e-mail.  Because that makes so much sense.  Seriously, what’s the point of these spambots?  It would be unbelievable if they got even one click-through for every ten thousand messages posted.  The net result can’t possibly be worth the time it took to code them.]

Posted on The Parallel Tale of Neaera:

Peculiar article, just what I was looking for.

[Mostly, this is identical to all the other “gee, this is great” spambot comments that are hoping you’ll click on the link to “their” website, and end up at a shop.  Except for the part where it says “peculiar” instead of something more, y’know, flattering.  I think the programmer on this one didn’t know enough English to know that “peculiar” is not usually regarded as a compliment.]

Posted on The Birth of Perseus:

I see your blog needs some unique & fresh content.
Writing manually is time consuming, there is tool
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[Mmmkay…so…yes, admittedly, there is nothing “unique” or particularly “fresh” about re-telling a 2500+ year old Greek myth.  But the post was nearly a year old at the time this spam comment was placed on it, so it was hardly an indicator of my current content.  (And, actually, it was much better than what was currently going up…)  But “writing manually”?  Uh, yeah, I’m not using a pen and paper here.  Typing is the fastest way to input this amount of text, and that’s what I’m doing.  Unless I wanted to crank out garbled nonsense like the spambots, that is…]

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[Okay, well, that’s different.  But I always feel disappointed when the spambots aren’t looking for keywords actually related to their subject material on something like this.  You know?  It’s like, “why didn’t you do a better job programming them, you dummy?”  I guess that’s a pretty weird complaint.  Except that then they’d all leave me alone.]

Posted on Homophone Trouble:

I visited many websites however the audio feature
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[Number of “audio songs” on my entire blog = 0.]

Posted on Ridiculous Grocery Bill:

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[Wow.  Just, wow.  I mean, seriously, would it have been that hard to program the spambot to make sure there was a video before putting in this comment?  Because lemme tell ya, I’ve never posted a video to my blog.  Ever.  I don’t think you even can post videos unless you upgrade to the non-free variety of account.  Also, seriously, what in the world made it pick a post from December of 2014 for a comment left in July of 2016?  And a particularly lame post at that, ensuring that absolutely no one would see it other than me as I scourged it from the comments section.  The URL posted was about home-buying, btw.  Which has nothing whatsoever to do with how much my groceries cost on one particular day in December of 2014, or about the contents of the comment.]

Posted on Operetta:

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[This garbled piece of nonsense is being posted here because of the post it was put on.  One of the reasons I started this page was that it seemed like every single spam comment my dolly blog got was on that post.  Then as soon as I started keeping track of them, bang!, it stopped getting spam comments, just like that.]

Posted on Pyrrha’s Eye Mechanism:

Le stud book les agace; les book makers les irritent; au
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performance des signes d’alienation mentale. boutique bio Ne voulant pas exposer plus long-temps une dame
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[I had to put this one on here, ’cause it’s my first second ever spam entirely in a foreign language.  According to Google Translate, it says:

The stud book annoys; the book makers irritate; the
betting-ring, they are red with anger, a horse
disqualified their tears cries of despair, and
performance signs of insanity. organic shop Not wanting to expose any longer a lady
who accompanied me, and that was very scared, I gave the order not to wait for the convoy, and move away from a side street near
which we found ourselves.

So, yeah, still nonsense.  And guess what?  The bot’s URL is a shopping site!  There’s a shock, huh?]

Posted on An unexpected (belated) birthday present:

Il a des esprits exclusifs et dedaigneux qui condamnent d’avance toutes les fables nouvelles comme des temerites
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envers La Fontaine

[Actually, turns out this one was the first; I was looking at the top of the spam comment list first, instead of the bottom.  Google Translate informs me that this one means:

It has exclusive and disdainful spirits condemn in advance any new fables like rashness
guilty and useless as a real sacrilege towards the great master of the art,
to La Fontaine

Big shock:  the bot’s URL is the same shopping site as the other one.  I’m assuming this bot is looking for Canadians rather than people in France; last time I looked at my stats, I wasn’t getting any visitors from France, but I did get some Canadians.  I think.]

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[Because “Wholesale Jerseys” is totally someone’s name.  Yeah.]

Posted on Boo York Cleo and Deuce Two-Pack (100th Post):

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[Um, aside from the fact that iPad stands have nothing to do with Monster High dolls, if the stand only holds a mini iPad, then it doesn’t hold “any kind” of iPad, just the one.  Stupid spambot.]

Posted on Weird Amazon Order:

I could not resist commenting. Very well written! [URL]

[Y’know, if the spambot hadn’t insisted on putting the base URL of a fake Yahoo homepage at the end, and hadn’t picked such a ludicrous, year-and-a-half old post, it might have actually passed as a very bland but real comment.  Dumb move, spambot programmer.]

Posted on Homophone Trouble:

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[When I see this kind of spam comment, I always wonder just what the programmer did to create the text.  Did they copy-paste bits and pieces randomly from actual texts somewhere?  Did they use a random text generator?  I can’t help being curious about that.  Especially since what they produced is utter nonsense, which no one could ever mistake for a real comment.]

Also posted on Homophone Trouble:

Je dois aux passions paternelles le feu qui, dans ce
brouillard, s’allume parfois et fait explosion; je dois a
ma mere, la tendresse de coeur, la vocation maternelle qui survit a toutes mes
passions eteintes.

[Google Translate says that means this:

I have the paternal fire passions, which in this
fog lights and sometimes explodes; I must
my mother, heart tenderness, maternal vocation that survives in all my
extinct passions.

Again, same destination site as the previous two French spam comments.  But I had to share it here ’cause of the crazy translation.  Also to prove that both my blogs are being hit by this spambot, not just the dolly blog.]

Also posted on Homophone Trouble:

On remet en chaudiere pendant une heure, on evente une demi-heure; on refroidit de
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on evente. boutique bio en ligne plusieurs reprises
il essaya de reprendre la phrase, mais, a peine le mot Serguei prononce, sa voix tremblait;
a Kousmitch les larmes arrivaient, et apres de tous cotes les sanglots l’etouffaient au
point qu’il ne pouvait continuer.

[According to Google Translate, this says:

It calls into boiler for one hour, evente half an hour; cooled to
again with the remainder of the bath No. 1; is heated to 75 is added fifteen liters iron pyrolignite; is brought hats for one hour,
we evente. shop online bio repeatedly
he tried to use the phrase, but barely pronounce the word Sergei, his voice trembled;
has Kousmitch the tears came, and after all odds sobs choked the
the point he could not continue.

Gotta love how it it switches from some kind of bathing(?) instructions to awkward(ly translated) fiction.]

Posted on The Truth about Zeus and Hades:

The number of payday loan stores has been dropping since 2006.

[The spambot put “porn” as its name.  Because yeah, that’s convincing.  And as its website, it listed a site whose title proclaims that it buys cars.  Yikes.]

Posted on So I’ve written a play.  Now what?:

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[The spambot put “time rating” as its name, and gave a web address that the preview window shows as a 404 error.  Nice one, spambot.  Also, can I recommend that you run a spell check first?]

Posted on Byul Tiger Lily:

I really like it when people get together and share opinions.
Great website, continue the good work! [URL]

[Said post is, of course, exclusively a picture.  No opinions whatsoever, mine or anyone else’s.  Just a photo of a big-eyed doll dressed as Tiger Lily from the Disney version of Peter Pan.  The URL is for a search engine…or rather, a search engine clone.]

Posted on Words Crush Wednesday:  A Disturbing Precedent:

You can definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.

[As with so many of the spam messages that were written in an attempt to look like real comments, this one is rendered ludicrous by the post on which it was left.  The e-mail the spambot left was a string of asterisks at Gmail.  Because that’s so plausible.]

Posted on Byul Tiger Lily:

Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my
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[Note to spambot:  this kind of thing would be more convincing if the blog you left it on had such a widget.  Because guess what?  I don’t even use flippin’ Twitter, and I don’t plan on starting.  Ever.]

Posted on (Sibilant) Silent Sundays – Sidney’s Socks:

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[It almost started out making sense, and then it descends into an incoherent mess, even by spam standards.  Not to mention, as always, it’s rendered absurd by the fact that the post it was left on consists of a single photograph, and nothing else.]

Posted on Happy Leap Day!:

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[Why do all these spambots keep going back to this post and treating it like it had, you know, content?  It’s just a goofy thing I posted for the 29th of February, focusing on the fact that Toya Kinomoto (elder brother of the heroine of Cardcaptor Sakura) has his birthday on Feb. 29.  And, btw, there is a photograph.  It’s a very rare post on my dolly blog that doesn’t have photos, in fact.]

Posted on Madra Lord:

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[All I “desired” to say in the post was “hey, look at this cool new doll I found!”]

Posted on Isul Lir Nostalgia:

Have you ever considered creating an e-book or gueest authoring on other blogs?
I have a blog based upon on the same subjects youu discusss and would really like
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[An e-book of superficial dolly reviews with amateurish photos.  Yeah, that’s believable.  The website link left by the spambot seemed to be about stealing video games?  (I don’t know, it said something in the URL about renting Luigi without paying a lot of money, so that’s gotta be a Super Mario Bros. thing, right?)  In any case, you’d think the spambot would have been programmed to go to the most recent post on a blog, not one more than a year old.  It’s hardly a convincing pretense this way.  Not that it would have been anyway.]

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[Yup, another spambot malfunctioned and posted its entire string!  What’s shocking is how many of these bits and pieces I recognize from having already seen them in my spam filter…]

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[I love these ones that look like they copy-pasted random bits of text from wildly different sources.]

Posted on The Parallel Tale of Neaera:

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[Ironically, if this hadn’t been left on a post from January (in October!) I might have mistaken it for an over-the-top real comment.  ‘Cause my blog has definitely lost its way.  Or rather, I’ve totally lost touch with it.  Or something.  I dunno.  I’m about to put it on a semi-hiatus until I figure out what went wrong anyway.  But since this was on an old post — and one that was actually kinda decent — it’s obvious that it’s spam…not that it would have been easy to mistake it for a person, considering the spambot put “cheap air max 90 laser blue” as its name.]

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[I’ve mostly stopped bothering with this page, but I had to include this one because of the Greek mythology reference.  BTW, the spambot for this one identified itself as “multiple-choice exam”.  Because, again, so convincing.]

Posted on Julius Caesar and the Pirates:

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Hope it helps.

[Yet another spam bot not programmed to tell the difference between a blog and a store’s web site.  It put “Just looked at your website no instagram account?” as its name, btw.  Because yeah, sure, who’d doubt that?  Messages like this make me proud not to have accounts with the vast majority of social media sites.  I don’t even know exactly what Instagram does.]

I wish I’d started doing this sooner.  There have been some really odd ones.  Like one that acted like it was thrilled by the content of the post, yet talked about “web admin” and “this web site” while having not a single word in the comment that actually implied any understanding of what the post was about.  (A comment obviously processed through a similar protocol to the one that got dumped above, but that one wasn’t in that huge text dump, so it’s obviously a different spambot.)  And others that pretended to be responding to the post when they were utterly unrelated to the post.  (And then there’s the ones that seem to be four or five unrelated sentences copy-pasted out of who-knows-where.)

Okay, having added the text of spam comments for about a month now (according to the “Revisions” thingy, I started this page on Nov. 30th), I feel like it’s got enough to it to go ahead and hit the “Publish” button.

I notice, however, that in order to make me look like an idiot, I haven’t been getting many repeat spams on the same post since I started this.  (Seriously, before I started doing this, almost all my spam comments on the doll blog were on the same two posts.  Since starting this, those posts haven’t been hit once.)

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