Missing Letter Mondays

I thought I’d have a page for this, rather than a Category thing.  This way you can find out what each one is, instead of having to scroll down past each entry in reverse alphabetical order.

  • Missing Letter Mondays – The post with the rules and what-not.  The one you’re supposed to link to if you decide to participate in this challenge.  (Please do participate, btw!  I’d love to see more people taking part!)
  • No-A “Beginnings” – A very bad poem.  Yeah.  I’m not a poet, and it’s hard to remove a vowel on short notice.
  • No-B Untitled Riddle – Uh…yeah, the less said the better.  It’s not much of a riddle.  Regarding a b-word.
  • No-C Untitled Riddle – Ditto, another bad riddle.  This time for a C-word.  (I promise, things will get better!)
  • No-D “Extinct Reptiles” – A poem about a movie that had opened but I hadn’t seen yet, which didn’t really live up to the amount of money it’s made, if you want my opinion, so I’m kind of sorry I wrote it a poem before I’d seen it.  (Though if it just hadn’t tormented that poor woman so badly before she was so horribly devoured, I might have been willing to cut it a bit more slack!)
  • No-E “Lady of Dawn” – A poem about Eos, the goddess of the dawn.  Very short, because how do you write a poem about a goddess without the letter “e”?!  I bit off more than I could chew with this one…
  • N0-F “A Tale o’ Seven Suns” – I wised up here.  Instead of trying to write about something related to the letter in question, I just wrote a story and avoided the letter.  I went with a folktale-like narrative style, and tried to include as many folktale motifs as I could.  But I also did crazier things like including a brothel run by a lady cyclops, and gave the Dodo from Alice in Wonderland a cameo.  It’s lengthy, but I’m pretty proud of it.  Especially since I was pretty whacked out on my new medication when I wrote it.  (Which may account for the cyclopean bordello…)
  • No-G “The Story of the Many Moons” – Another folktale-like story, though like the previous one, I feel a bit like I didn’t quite grasp the right structure.  (Well, these things aren’t supposed to be invented, after all.)  This one introduced the character of Lazyboy, who then gets to star in the No-J tale…
  • No-H “Adulterous Zeus” – Okay, sure, I could have tried to write another story for no-H.  But do you have any idea how hard it would be to write a story without using the word “the”?  (Sure, the narrator in “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” by Robert Heinlein almost never used it, but he still used words like “he” and “she” and “they” and the people he was talking to still used “the” and…anyway, yeah, narratives without “h” are not a realistic prospect.  Not when you are trying to produce a post every single day of the week.)  So I went with another poem.  This time indirectly about Hera, by way of her philandering husband.  I’m proud of this one, I have to admit.  The only way I’d like it better would be if I could have used “thunderstruck” for Zeus’ reaction to what Ares told him at the end, but…that’s got an “h” in it, so I couldn’t.  This is probably still my favorite of these that I’ve written.  (As of 12/27/15)
  • No-I “The Son of Telamon” – This was actually the first one I wrote.  I’ve edited it a bit since then, but…yeah, it’s mostly the same as it started out.  It was a flash of inspiration, I guess.  It came pretty easily, because, well, I’ve been kind of obsessed with the Trojan War for the last, what, year and a half?  (If you’ve been following my blog, this is not news, of course.)  And, of course, there’s kind of a…hmm…it’s not exactly an “inside joke”…I’m not sure what to call it.  But the thing is that Aias is intrinsically linked with the ancient Greek equivalent of the cry “Alas!” which was “Ai ai!”  So that was kind of the point of the “Alas!  Alas!” lines.  It was sort of a double reference to the letter I couldn’t use, both to his name, and to what they would actually have been saying in Greek.  For those who are as well versed in this stuff as I am.  (So, yeah, I guess that does, in fact, qualify as an inside joke, in that only I would get it.)
  • No-J “The Tale of Lazyboy” – Ridiculously long, but Lazyboy finally gets his own story!  (Almost 12k words, so I think that qualifies as ridiculously long for a single blog post.)  I tried to skew more closely to traditional folktale motifs here, but…it’s still a bit more modern than a real folktale.  Including that the princess is much too strong for a folktale, naturally.  To excuse that it’s the “No-J” post, I tried to put in a lot of times when “jumping” would have been called for, and stuck in some frogs.  Though actually, it turns out that it’s surprisingly hard to avoid the word “just”…
  • No-K “The Heartless Queen” –  This was supposed to be a fusion of the folktale of the Heartless Giant with the Queen of Hearts.  It, uh, isn’t.  I’m not sure what it is, exactly, but I’m rather proud of it none the less, though it’s a bit macabre.
  • No-L “Neither the Honey nor the Bee” – Because I found a nest of yellow jackets in my back yard, you got a poem about wasps (inspired by a Sappho fragment) rather than a pessimistic verse version of a novel I’ve been working on on and off for six months.  Thank the (now deceased) wasps.
  • No-M “On This Day in History” – A poem about the sack of Rome by Alaric the Visigoth.  Bet you didn’t see that one coming!
  • No-N “Jugurtha” – A really, really awkward poem about Jugurtha, King of Numidia, who made war on Rome, as well as on his own brothers (though I had to leave that part out).  I came across his story in my reading for class, and thought it would be interesting to share.  It…uh…wasn’t all I had hoped it would be.  Writing without the letter “n” is surprisingly difficult…
  • No-O “Pupae” – A list poem, because I naively thought that would be faster to write, and I wanted to get back to working on my paper for class.  Listing all the dolls in the room where I was writing.  Kind of scary, for that only being one room in my house.  (Well, it’s not for no reason that I identify myself as insane in the title of both my blogs!)  And, actually, I only listed most of them; I forgot the ones on/in the dollhouse, and omitted the shelves of nothing but NRFB collector Barbies.  And the back register on the top shelf, ooh, and I forgot the half-finished siren and…ack.  Okay, let’s just call it “listing a large number of the dolls in the room” and leave it at that, shall we?
  • No-P “The Best of the Achaians” – As his loyal fan-girl, naturally I had to dedicate one of these to Patroclos, and the one eliminating the first letter of his name seemed like a suitable challenge.  I really need to stop trying to make these things poems; I suck at poetry.  And this time I couldn’t figure out how to end it, either…
  • No-Q “Gloria Regina” – A particularly lame attempt at a poem about Queen Elizabeth I.
  • No-R “Latin” – It was supposed to be a poem about my attempts to re-learn Latin, but it ended up more being a complaint about the hideous drawings in the Latin textbook I’m using.  (Same one I used back in high school!  Complete with the occasional pencil note I made way back then.)
  • No-S “Alarming” – Just a prose description of a worrying e-mail I got a few weeks ago.  Slightly hampered by the fact that I couldn’t find a decent way to say “wishlist” that didn’t use an “s”.  What I eventually came up with was more than a little weak, and possibly confusing.
  • No-T “Romans” – A pointless poem about various Romans.  (I can’t help it; I’m taking a class on Roman history, so Rome keeps sneaking into my blog…)
  • No-U “Today’s Post” – I have no idea how to describe this.  It’s not prose, but I hesitate to call it “poetry” either.  I didn’t have anything to talk about, so I talked about not being able to use the letter “u” in the post.  (The reason, btw, that it said I can’t speak of Achilles by name is because his actual name is Achilleus; the u-less version is just an adaptation for other languages.)
  • No-V “Synthetic Singers” – A partial list of Vocaloids and UTAUloids.  Because I had nothing to say, and no time in which to say it.  Apart from the start of the list, where I tried to go by the Vocaloids’ numbers, the rest of the list’s order is largely random. (As, for that matter, is my decision about who to include and who not to include.  The include/not include thing was partly dependent on if I had any .mp3s of songs performed by that Vocaloid/UTAU.)
  • No-W “Questions and Replies” – Very short.  Because it’s NaNo.
  • No-X “Entrance Only” – An ominous poem this time, partly inspired by my interpretation of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episode…uh…that showed all of Simmons’ time on the alien world.  (The title is something about days or minutes or something, the exact length of time she was there.)  My interpretation of what was actually going on was a bit different from the way things turned out, in that I…uh, to avoid spoilers, let me just say that I saw someone as being more ominous than that person was supposed to be at that time.  (I like it better my way, really.)
  • No-Y “Lunch with I, I, and Me” – This is a weird one, but hopefully kind of fun, too.  It was supposed to be a dialog about what was being eaten for lunch, but ended up being a monologue on the subject.  I tried (and failed) to get sorta Shel Silverstein-like with the last three lines.
  • No-Z NaNo excerpts – Since it was NaNoWriMo, I decided to just use some excerpts from the beginning of my NaNo novel for the “z”-less entry.  Naturally, I had ended up using a few words with “z” in it (including the name Azores) so I had to remove/replace them, but…hey, it gave me something to do at school on Thursdays between my late morning and late afternoon class.
  • No-A “The Spirit of November” – Thankfully, this is better than the first “No-A” poem.  In pre-writing my November posts, I’d forgotten that there were actually five Mondays in November that month, so I had to rush out another Missing Letter Monday post during the month.  Fortunately my (geeky) calendar gave me a good idea for a poem about NaNoWriMo.  (Though it would have been more appropriate earlier in the month, of course.)  I rather like this one.
  • No-B “Final Paper” – The shortest Missing Letter Monday post to date.  Hopefully the shortest ever.  It’s just that I had two major research papers due in December, so while I was working on them, I really didn’t have time to write anything long or clever…
  • No-C Untitled grousing – The first of the papers was over, but the second was still looming, so i was just complaining in this post.
  • No-D “Late” – Well, at least I tried to rhyme this time!  (Ack.  That rhyme was unintentional.)  I literally forgot all about getting a Missing Letter Mondays post up until, like, dinner time.  Despite that normally I try to get them pre-written at least over the weekend, if not even earlier than that.  So this is pretty lame.  Though not as lame as the two preceding ones.
  • No-E “Flooding” – My commute back from the museum where I volunteer on Saturday was blocked by two flooded roads in my path.  (Both essential ways of getting home, I might add.)  Not sure where else roads were flooded, I ended up going miles out of my way to get home, where I dashed this off.  Despite that some places in my area are still flooded a week later, my own encounter with flooding was brief and merely inconvenient.  (So, despite what I say at the end, this poem really is me whining.)
  • No-F “Icarus” – Okay, this is another one I really like.  It’s about the myth of Icarus, obviously.  It was more challenging than I had expected, trying to talk about Icarus without using the letter “F”.
  • No-G “Mother Earth” – Tried to do a poem about Gaia here.  It sort of…got weird towards the end.  I’ve done worse, though!
  • No-H “Alcides” – Like this one.  This one is definitely worse.  This one is about Heracles (he was originally named Alcides, after his grandfather Alceus) and it’s kind of abrupt.  And pointless.  I totally failed to capture the magic that was “Adulterous Zeus.”  Possibly because I wrote it in about fifteen minutes, having forgotten to pre-write it…
  • No-I “The Party” – No, not the Peter Sellers movie.  It’s about a symposium, in Mycenae, shortly before the Achaian army leaves for Aulis to depart for the Trojan War.  (Because what else am I gonna write about other than the Trojan War, right?)  If I ever do anything this annoying again, I want someone to slap me!  Seriously, how do you write about a drinking party when you can’t use the words “wine” or “drink”…or the names of several of the people at the party?!
  • No-J “Random News” – I didn’t have time to write a good MLM post, so I just wrote about whatever and left out words with the letter “j” in them.  I’d call it “cheating” except it’s a lot longer than some of the ones where I tried to be clever, so…
  • No-K “Peril-led Princess, Part One” – I made up for the previous week’s post here.  This is the first part of a bizarre fairy tale-like story of a princess who’s locked up from birth in a troll-guarded castle.  Initially, it was not going to be a multi-part story, and she was going to have all her adventures right away in this one week, but…I decided it would be more fun to string it out.  So Princess Spiderweb will be back soon.  (Yes, her name is utterly random.  I just thought it sounded good.  Actually, I almost called her Princess No-Name, but that just didn’t quite have the right ring to it.  Plus someone’s probably already done that.)
  • No-L “Princess Spiderweb, Part Two” – I told you she’d be back soon!  In this chapter, she helps some dwarves with a problem they’re having with their mine.  It, uh, went differently than I was expecting…
  • No-M “Peril-Led Princess, Part Three” – This chapter is mostly talking.  I forgot to start working on it until it was too late to give it the attention it needed, and so I ended up having to resort to dialog as narrative exposition, and failed to have the characters actually accomplish anything.  Though they do gain a new party member, so I suppose that’s something.  (Wait, when did this become an RPG?)
  • No-N “The Paradox” – Yeah, I couldn’t continue Princess Spiderweb’s story without the letter “n,” so I had to do something else.  And since this was going up on Leap Day, all I could think of (pretty much all day) was the song “The Paradox” from The Pirates of Penzance.  So I decided I’d just post the lyrics…with all the words containing the letter “n” replaced with n-less words.  (Sometimes that worked better than other times…)  It also contains, at the end, a link to the song on Youtube, from the movie with Kevin Kline and Angela Lansbury.  I love that movie.  So much fun!
  • No-O “Spinal Tap” – Facing this unpleasant medical procedure, I couldn’t really think of anything else, and wrote about my reluctance to have some of my spinal fluid drained.
  • No-P untitled apology – I was too pre-occupied with nervously awaiting the results of said test to write anything decent.
  • No-Q – “Peril-Led Princess, Part Four” – Yeah, I finally got back to Princess Spiderweb, but…I didn’t actually accomplish much in her story.  I mostly just fleshed out the new guy from last time, and introduced some new characters, including the big bad they’re getting ready to fight.  Due to which letters need to be lost, it’ll be awhile before I can get back to her tale.  (Possibly April 25th…but possibly not.  “U” is still a vowel, after all.  Plus, you know, April A-to-Z.  And I’ll have a final paper to be working on by then.  So it may not be until May.)
  • No-R – “Hey, Listen!” – Um.  This is a short one.  And pathetic.  It’s just I, uh, kind of got a little bit, um, distracted?  By a video game?  That I’ve played before?  Yeah, pathetic, I know.
  • No-S – “Convention” – After spending the weekend at the local version of Comic Con, I was too tired even to think, let alone writing anything clever.  So this post is mostly the word “tired” over and over again.
  • No-T – “Annoying/Annoyed” – Okay, this one is more of me complaining, mostly.  I like the nonsensical question about green anchovies at the end, though.
  • No-U “O is for Oro” – This one is actually part of my April A-to-Z for the year, ’cause I thought I could combine a lackluster April A-to-Z entry with a Missing Letter Monday.  It could have been worse…but I’d really have liked to be able to use words like “slaughter” and “daughter” in the post.  (Uh, not together, though.)
  • No-V “The Author’s Oracle Tag” – Having seen an open-ended “if you see this and you want to answer then questions, then consider yourself tagged” kind of blog-tag post, featuring questions about one’s writing, I thought “hey, why not try it?”  It seemed less difficult than trying to write another chapter of “Peril-Led Princess.”
  • No-W “Summer Plans” – In which I attempt to outline my plans for the summer without using the letter “w”.  Which is harder than it sounds, considering it’s hard to say what you plan to do without using the words “want” and “will”!
  • No-X “Charybdis” – Because I can’t stay away from Greek myths for very long, hmm?  This is kinda-sorta a poem, and it starts pretty well, I think, but then falls apart.  *sigh*
  • No-Y “Nope” – I had intended to write something real, but then I had really bad cramps and wrote a very short semi-poem about not wanting to do anything because I had cramps.  Yeah, not a winner…
  • No-Z “Peril-Led Princess, Part Five” – Finally finished the tale of Princess Spiderweb!  Yay!  In such a way that I could add on more adventures between the end of the actual story and the beginning of the years later epilogue, of course.
  • No-A “RPG” – A kinda-sorta poem about three RPGs, two from the SNES and one from the PS1.  The SNES ones are describing individual battles, and the PS1 one is just addressing some memorable moments.  Yeah, I should have thought of something more epic for the beginning of the third go-round.  (In my own defense, the actual games are epic.  It’s just that the poem is decidedly not.)
  • [At this point, the whole blog started falling apart.  I am from this point onwards only going to list those MLM posts that are actually, you know, marginally worth reading.  Lame posts of “oops, I have nothing to say, so I’ll just carefully not say it without a certain letter” are just going to be omitted from this list.  ‘Cause really.]
  • No-E “Why, man, why?” – Another kinda-sorta poem, this time about how I am so easily frightened that I was scared by watching the Team FourStar comedy video of (their version) Krillin playing the demo for Resident Evil 7.
  • No-F “My July 4th” – Talking about how my Independence Day was largely dominated by my July CampNaNo novel.  (Yet not mentioning — because no “f” — that it was a fanfic and how one of the two leads of the fic was English, and the one who was American was played by a Scot.  ‘Cause yeah, that’s so appropriate for the anniversary of the Declaration of (American) Independence (from Great Britain).)
  • No-K “8+8=16” – Because it was August 8th, 2016.  And I thought 8/8/16 was kind of cool.
  • No-N “That 1984 Closet” – A poem-of-sorts describing an incident in the piece I was writing offline, in which one lead had crammed all his embarrassing crap into the hall closet and then forgotten it, until his lover opened said closet two weeks later, and made a humongous mess.  (Guess what happened to the mess?  It got shoved right back in the closet!  I was gonna make it a running gag, actually, but it only happened the twice.)


And, to be fair and honest, I’ll include a link to the post where I quoted the poem I found in an old — I believe it was from 1897 or thereabouts — magazine that was composed entirely without the letter “e” which gave me the idea for this.  That post is here.

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