So, I’m in a weird place with my writing, a place which is not easy to define.
Okay, technically, part of where I am is easy to define: I’m 170ish hours into the throes of “omg, how can I do anything else when I still haven’t scaled every single obstacle in Hyrule looking for Koruks? or, like, you know, defeated Ganon or some junk.” I may be a couple years late, but having finally gotten a Switch, I have finally gotten to experience the ultimate gaming freedom that is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Because it’s hard to put down a game that lets you get from point A to point B in a straight line, even if that means scaling two mountains, a sheer cliff face, and traversing a couple of rivers. And which has little spirits hiding under almost every rock. It’s kind of a waste that there’s, you know, a story and stuff. Takes away from the exploring.
Um, *ahem*, sorry. That was not what I’m supposed to be posting about. (In my defense, one of the reasons I started playing it when I did was that I sprained my ankle really badly on New Year’s Eve (I can’t remember, did I mention that in last month’s post?) and so I was facing a very long period of having to just sit around with my foot up trying to let it rest.)
So, my writing. Although I’m still trying to get some original fiction written (just did another editing pass through the one I actually plan on releasing (for free) via LeanPub, in fact, though it still needs more work), I’m also still enjoying playing around with fanfiction, because why shouldn’t I? But I’ve hit a point where I feel like…maybe there’s not much point in posting it online.
Oddly, I’m at this point because the last thing I posted was actually well received. I mean, for me. For a fandom that’s a bit over twenty years old and was never all that huge to begin with (what with being about ’70s (male) glam rock stars in love with each other). I think I mentioned it at some point, a story I wrote for the fanfic Yuletide exchange, fusing my fandom with the Branagh Henry V, because Christian Bale was in both of them. It’s a very unusual story for me in a lot of ways (not just because of the whole Shakespeare thing, though that is of course part of it), and it was largely the product of a momentary burst of inspiration (I guess I should watch more Shakespeare), and I ended up producing something much better than my usual works, which is of course why it was better received.
But I can’t replicate the process that led to the story, because inspiration doesn’t work like that. Especially since even when you are inspired, it’s not always going to bleed over into the final product. I tried a couple of times to do a similar fusion for the version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream that Bale was in ten years later, and it completely didn’t work, to an appalling degree. (Partially because he was playing one of the least likable characters out of a play that featured quite a bumpercrop of unpleasant people, whereas his character in Velvet Goldmine is a shy sweetie. Those just don’t mesh well.)
I always have a backlog of unposted fics, because I don’t like having two of my works next to each other on the list when the works are sorted by date edited, and new fics in that fandom don’t go up very often. But in this case, I could have started posting something right away, because there was something that went up only a few days later. There have been several more since. But I haven’t posted anything.
I don’t even know if I want to.
I had thought I’d be different and post the cross-over I wrote with Doctor Who. Only I was feeling unsure about it, and then the new season started, and unlike last season, it’s been terrible so far. (I am at least one episode behind, though. Um, the last one I saw was the one with The Jidoon. That’s where I am.) So after that, I’m much less tempted to post it, especially since it’s the new Doctor in the fic. (But with my favorite companion from the original show. Because reasons.) I did write a fix-it fic for one of the episodes of the new season that was particularly awful and yet also particularly easy to fix, but I’m reluctant to post that, too, even though it’s a different fandom and so none of the Velvet Goldmine readers are likely to see it. Which may not even really have anything to do with my hesitation anyway.
I kind of want to post a different one, because I’ve already written its sequel, which crosses over with another favorite movie of mine, Hail, Caesar!, which gets even less fanfiction love (I think the most recent post was in 2018?) even though it’s so much more recent, but…I don’t know.
I don’t know about anything.
It’s not like I’d stop writing them, even if I stop posting them, so…I just sort of have to sit back and figure out if there’s really any point to posting them, and if it’s actually what I want to do or not.
Tragically, not the kind of question that can have an easy answer.
Also, I find myself in a mood lately to write stories where love is rejected (or simply not present), which is not what anyone wants to see with in fiction for this fandom (not even me), but…I dunno.
Serious case of listlessness. That would be part of it.