Missing Letter Monday No “B” – Liar!

“Liar!”

Open request to the designers
Of automatic telephone surveys everywhere:

STOP FREAKIN’ LYING!!!

“This survey will only take up four minutes of your time.”

On what planet?
Whose definition of “minutes” are you using?
It isn’t the same as mine, that’s for sure!

That thing couldn’t take “only four minutes”
Unless you said “No, I’m not registered to vote.”
Rather, pressed #1 when it told you to,
In order to indicate that no, you’re not a voter.

Total waste of time, too.
All they had to ask was
“Are you an idiot?”
And then they’d know how I was going to answer,
As only an idiot would say they approved.

That’s not what gets me, though.
It’s the “only four minutes” malarkey,
As I had hastened to answer the phone,
Half-way through changing clothes.
“Only four minutes” my fat, naked ass!

It’s too cold in my house for this crap.

I need to learn to just hang up the phone.

 

(At least I got a post out of it…)

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Missing Letter Monday – No “F”

My July 4th

4 days in,
My soul belongs to CampNaNo…
…apparently.
Can’t really think about much else.
(Which is disturbing.
Given my subject matter.
And today being Independence Day.)

To celebrate,
I spent several hours writing this morning.

Um, I mean,
I went to my parents’ place,
To have lunch and a movie.
Lunch was hot dogs
(And hamburgers ’cause the guys
Actually like them (Yuck!))
And carrots, and pears, and potato chips,
And loose-plain-lettuce-that-we-called-salad-anyway.
With apple pie as dessert.
(Naturally.)

Then a DVD.
We watched Captain America.
The other option was The Rocketeer.
Um, when did Independence Day
Become a World War II thing?
Did I miss a meeting?
(Though I’m not really in the mood
To watch 1776 today,
So I shouldn’t complain.)

Now I’m gonna write again.
Until my digits expire due to overuse…
…or I get the leads into bed together.
Whichever comes 1st.

…

Hmm…

Okay, this is long enough!

I’m gonna get back to writing!

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(Also, my period arrived today.  Like a week early.  Because the universe hates me.  Or to make sure I don’t go overboard and actually try to describe the sex.  Whichever.  Maybe both.)

Missing Letter Mondays – No “D”

Listless

My house mostly no longer stinks.
(It’s just a hint in the hallway now.)
But I’m listless now.
I’ve been off-line for a week.
(38 posts to check out!)
It’s going to be onerous,
Trying to resume on-line life.

I may start posting excerpts,
From my current Work-In-Progress.
It’s been going more slowly,
Because of the excessive heat
(The problem of having only a laptop)
But I feel like some of it’s fun,
Maybe even worthwhile.
(Only maybe, though.
It must not be forgotten that I suck.)

This heat is the biggest issue, though.
My AC is…well, not broken.
It runs.  It runs just fine.
(Much better than the neighbors’!)
But it has this thing going on.
If I run it too long,
Water seeps through the vent,
Soaks the filter,
Softens it,
Until the filter is a knot
Halfway into the furnace.
But I can’t call for a repair.
Not right now.
So I have to let it got hot in here,
Saving the AC for short bursts.
I have ceiling fans, but…
They only go so far.

Writing is mostly out,
Gaming is having trouble keeping my attention.

I can’t help it.

I’m just listless.

(Also, I seem to obsess about sex more than usual in the past week…)

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Forget the format:  this is a genuine report on my current situation.

Missing Letter Mondays – No “C”

“Almost Normal”

It’s getting almost to where it was.
The smell is fading.
(Though it’s definitely still here.)
The air fresheners smell worse now than the dead rodent.
(How do I always end up with air fresheners that make me nauseous?)
Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to shut the windows.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally be able to turn the air on.

Oh…I’d like that.
I’d really like that.
(It’s so hot in here.)

Naturally, the smell–
Or what’s left of it–
Is still the reason this post is late.

(Like I’m always on time…)

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Missing Letter Monday – No “Y”

Lunch with I, I, and Me

Mmm, this grilled cheese is fantastic, isn’t it?
Oh, have some of the chips!
No, no, the chicken is just divine!
What kind of spice is it?  Oregano?  Sage?
The spaghetti is delightful, too.
So much to eat, so little time!

Some dessert might be nice.
Just a little slice of pie,
Or some cake,
Or those macarons look scrumptious!
Ice cream is forever good, too.

What?
I talk too much?

Never!

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Pre-written, due to NaNoWriMo.

 

Missing Letter Monday – No “U”

Today’s Post

In today’s post, I can’t address my listener (reader) directly.
I can’t mention the king’s wife.
(All English “Q” words are off the table, in point of fact.)
There are so many Romans and Greeks I can’t mention by name.
(Yet I can speak of the Odyssey and the Iliad,
So long as I leave the heroes’ names alone.)
I can mention Telamonian Aias, yet not his brother.
Patroclos is fine — in many ways — so long as I don’t try the Roman spelling.

Yes, I have no topic.
So I’m addressing what I can’t do today.

I need to be reading.
I have homework.
(Don’t I always?)

Gibberish is only going to get me so far.

How many words are a post?
Can I stop now, or is more necessary?

Meh.
I need to be reading.
San Martin is still failing to liberate that nation
(Whose name I can’t say in today’s post)
And the book will follow him even after he goes into exile.
I’m not positive we need to know that part,
However it was assigned,
So I’ll read it.
Pointless as it may be.

Yeah, it’s getting late.

I’m going to get to work.

Bye-bye!

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