Yes, “reaction,” not “review.” I wouldn’t know how to give the movie a proper review. However, I will admit that — despite an opening that disgusted me (which will be the focus of this post) — I was really digging it until a scene that had me muttering under my breath “No, no, no, no, no!” and “Don’t do it! Don’t you dare do it!” (At which point my brother leaned over and told me he agreed with me 100%.) Unfortunately, they didn’t listen to me about that scene, and it pretty much wrecked the entire movie for me. Aside from that, it’s the first movie in this new wave of connected DC movies that is actually, you know, a well made, competent movie with a script that actually plays like a single, proper draft, and features a cast of characters you can actually like, as opposed to a few likable characters surrounded by a sea of “meh.” And it strikes me as hilariously ironic that they shifted the time period from WWII to WWI in order to avoid comparisons to Captain America, and yet they still had a Captain named Steve (played by a guy named Chris) who gathered together a small crew of interesting and multi-cultural buddies to help him fight the Germans, and I don’t want to go into spoilers, but there was an aspect of the climax that was rolling out the red carpet for the comparisons they wanted so much to avoid.
But none of that is what I want to talk about.
What I want to talk about is the astonishingly awful mutilation of Greek mythology. (So, yes, feel free to dismiss this post as the whining of a mythology geek. I really don’t care what anyone else thinks of me.)
Now, it’s not that I went in expecting the mythology to be handled with anything resembling accuracy. I’ve seen a lot of episodes of the animated Justice League show that was on Cartoon Network…uh…whenever that was (I’m thinking early 2000s?), and my brother and father are both hugely into comic books, so I’ve heard a lot on the subject from them. So I knew already that Ares was Wonder Woman’s biggest foe (and always had been), and that the reboot changed her very cool origin of a statue brought to life to the hyper-boring origin of being a daughter of Zeus. So I knew what I was going to see was not going to be anything even remotely accurate to the myths or the personalities of the gods described therein. But I wasn’t expecting anything this mutilated.
Very early in the picture (definitely in the first ten minutes), the child Diana is told a bedtime story about the gods and the duty of the Amazons by her mother, Hippolyte. Given that it was so early in the picture, I feel like I can discuss it at great length without it being considered a spoiler, but just in case anyone feels differently, I’ll put it on the other side of the “Read More” tag.