Once upon a time, the senior swim team at the 13th Street Y was big enough that they had trouble coordinating practices; inevitably, the lanes got too clogged and everything slowed down. When they were kids, Barry and Terry found that hilarious. They would sit in the lobby and watch the old people running into each other as they tried to swim laps, and they would laugh their impertinent little asses off.
Now, sixty-five years later (give or take half a decade), they didn’t find it so funny. And it didn’t matter anyway, because there were only five people on the senior swim team now: the two of them, Matilda (who was ninety-seven if she was a day, yet claimed to be only seventy), Mary-Jane and Marianne. Before Marianne joined the team, Barry and Terry referred to their teammates as M&M when the ladies couldn’t hear them…which was most of the time, since Matilda’s hearing aid batteries were constantly depleted, and Mary-Jane insisted that she didn’t need hearing aids yet, despite being completely deaf in one ear.
Still, it was a puny team, and the Senior Olympics were coming up in just a few months, and they couldn’t hope to qualify at this rate, let alone win. They desperately needed some fresh blood on the team.
So, when Marianne came to work practice one day gushing about the new man who just moved into the house across the street from her son, Barry and Terry were quickly excited. The man, Marianne insisted, was about seventy and strong as an ox. She also said he was the most handsome man she’d seen over sixty-five since Sean Connery, but they doubted the judges at the Senior Olympics cared about attractiveness.
After talking about it for a couple of days, Barry and Terry asked Marianne to bring them over to meet this man she was so enamored with, to see if he was interested in joining the swim team. Being glad of any excuse to talk to her crush, Marianne eagerly agreed to meet them the next day at her son’s house.